Green Gardner

Kermit put it perfectly when he simply stated, "It isn't easy being green."  I have rapturously undertaken the quest to "go green", inspired by doomsday prophecies of global warming and gas prices at a lovely $4.34 a gallon.  Isn't it nice living out west.  My husband is equally enthusiastic, so we have started with the basics and are working our way up.  For instance, we changed out all our evil old light bulbs for so-called energy-efficient ones that cost approximately seven times more but are supposed to save the world.  Okay.  We have put in place two trash bins in our miniscule kitchen, one for things we absolutely must allow to be taken to the dump, and the other for anything we can possibly think of that is recyclable.  I imagine those poor souls working at the magical recycling plant sorting through our garbage must hate me every time they pick out yogurt containers with sticky notes on them saying "I thought this could make a cute purse for a doll.  I've included the pipe cleaner to be used as a handle.  You'll find that at the bottom."

Next, we bought reusable grocery bags that we must take with us everywhere in order to pile our goods in them instead of plastic bags.  Problem is, we keep forgetting them.  We must've been to a hundred stores this last week trying to set up house, and every time we end up walking out with things toppling out of our hands because we feel guilty using plastic bags but can't remember the darn reusable ones!  Navigating through automatic doors with a heap of "earth-friendly" laundry detergent, recycled paper plates, and renewable-bamboo spatulas all precariously placed can be really quite difficult! 

 We've also made it a personal mission to frequent mom and pop restaurants and stores in order to combat corporate globalization, but these stores are apparently all out of business.  Thus we trudge into Walmart, and I can't help but get giddy about saving 32 cents on a gallon of milk.  

Our next order of business is to start relying more on public transportation instead of filling up our cars every two days, but we'll see how that goes.  I admit that in my vanity, I can't help but feel sexy driving my husband's gas-guzzling Celica. Windows down, blonde hair flying, sunglasses donned...it just won't have the same effect on a city bus.  

Maybe I'm not really cut out for this whole "green" trend, but today I was on my hands and knees scrubbing my bathroom with vinegar and baking soda instead of harsh chemicals that would probably do a better job.  And yet, as I felt the faint signs of carpal tunnel coming on as I scoured away, I couldn't help but feel I was doing my part...and I was pretty darn proud.